This is my homepage, Welcome!
I am a recently divorced, no children (not that I haven't tried it just did not take). Am finding that it is difficult to find anyone to date, even harder to muster the nerve to ask them out.
I am no longer interested in even trying the bar seen, now that I no longer drink it just doesn’t appeal to me. I know that when I did go I could drink enough liquid bravery that I could talk to any woman that caught my eye.
In the past I work as a bench technician, but after the divorce I reclaimed enough confidence that people took notice! As I was working at a job off site the client noticed my work ethic & resourcefulness and offered me a job with his company as a IT Specialist. At present it has been a great ride & it gets better all the time.
Well so far that is my opening statement and seeing that I just started this today (09/17/06). I found where they was giving away home pages and,,, well you can see I made one! I guess I will add more when I think of more content!
Well it is December of 2006 and in just a few more weeks I hope to be a permanent employee of the power company! It has been a hard two years but I hope it will be worth it! I enjoy the work tremendously & it is very rewarding, I only wish I had someone to share the benefits with. Maybe with a little time that will come.
For Thanks Giving Holidays I took my Mom & Dad out to spend time with my sister & her family, I am glad they are out there! Did not get any rest like I had hoped, came back with the crud, and missed work even more than I wanted! Not what I had wanted at all, I won't be doing that again soon for sure. How can anybody live in that chaos is beyond me!
So now an update for 5/14/07, I am now a Company Man! I have been working for this for so long, it is almost a joke. I really am so glad to now have a job that I can NOW retire from. It is unreal to have a job that pays really well as well as rewarding, it is really ashame that the ex could not be here, not nag as well as,,, well that as now water under the bridge and I hope she is doing well. It is just not the same not having some one to share it with, it really stinks, but that is life, I have to move on
I have been hanging around the friends that have stuck by me, one of which is really going thru tough times, a friend of mine husband is in the ICU today is day 40 (believe it or not). I'm sorry but the doctors say that his drinking is not the reason he is in the shape he is but it is his liver, colon, and kidneys, it certainly has not helped! As much as I don't like him, he does not deserve this he does need as much prayer as you can give him so if you can ask your Higher Power to look in on him, he can really use it. His name is Steve.
9/17/07 Well a couple of months ago Steve lost his battle to the infection. He leaves behind his wife of 20 + years behind, she has been a friend for a really long time, I hate that she is going threw this at her age. I help when I can and we bum around a lot, last weekend I cut the grass and just hung around. Yes folks I love her, she is my best friend, I am her biggest fan & she is the friend that we all should have.
I'm sorry that Steve had to be called home, but it was for the best, he would have not have been happy due to all of the complications from the surgery. He would have been a burden to his wife. He was an active person and setting still would not have suited him at all.
So if you all are still talking to your higher power, turn your thoughts to her, even though she is threw with one problem, more will arise from his death.
11-06-08
After trying to pray to a GOD, a HIGHER POWER and getting absolutely no where, I have come to the realization that there is not one! I asked for someone whom I wanted to be with but instead I have to settle on someone who brings in there whole family to live off of my paycheck! The one that I thought would be there and love me was the one who told me that they wanted to have "FUN".
I am 47 years old instead of a woman that wants to be with me, all I get is a woman that wants me to pay for every thing, bouncing checks not being able to pay for that damn rent, and her free loading brother who though did not have a job went & found a child & brought it into MY HOUSE!
SO you tell me, where is a "HIGHER POWER". For so long I just wanted a little something decent in life, instead I get the shit end of the stick! My Job has turned ugly, I am involved in a Environmental Project at one of my power plants and it has consumed every hour of everyday! I liked the traveling around, not walking around with 25lb weights on my feet listing to how the project is behind. I would have thought I would have been given more formal training @ work but instead I have been pushed aside and the guy that is under me is getting what I have been needing to get. I fear that he will get the position that I was hoping for! And for those who think I am lazy, I got another award for "outstanding service". I work my azz off & this is what I get!
AGAIN I ask where is that "GOD" that people say to believe in! All my life it looks like I almost get what I want but it then gets snatched away!
The friends that said that they would always be there are the very people who snatching your heart out slamming it on to a plate handing a knife fork the whole time smiling & telling you to enjoy! With friends like them who needs enemy's!
If you can see my YAHOO tag, you now know why it says "Life is BULLSHIT, God is SADISTIC, Friends STAB you, WHY TRY!". I really hate life right now & it does not look like it is getting better!
Those freaks who think that drugs are the way to go that "I NEED" Meds to help me cope with life, are the same people who are self medicating and are not facing life. I maybe complaining about life but at least "I am not trying to avoid it".
Enough ranting for this year! I really hope that thing are better for you this year.
1-20-09
Well it is a new year, & my problem just won't go away! She is trying harder than ever to be a permanent fixture in my life, she by her self is not a problem but the baggage that she has, (a lazy brother who will not clean after his self, the kid that is not his, a daughter who lately is not that bad, that thinks that she is a queen, & ECT) really it is unreal at the crap that surrounds her.
Still my mind is on another, & she could careless, she has the freedom to do & go where she wants. I want to wish her well but I still hurt so bad that all I feel is pain & anger toward putting my hopes & dreams in the “SO CALLED HANDS” of a “GOD”! The cold hard reality is that there is no “GOD”, that if there is, it is some DAMN Extra Terrestrial that started there social experiment a long time ago.
If the S.O.B. was to come back now I would only hope it would erase what it finds, and stamp FAILED on the records! I just want to be put out of my misery, I want the world to end so that no more pain is inflicted on human beings that should never had evolved in the first place!
AND on this day where we have sworn in a new JACKASS to run this totally unfair part of the planet takes office today, maybe we ought to wonder if we will be here next year or will the BASTARD push the button, the whole time stating “ It's what I was born for, It's MY DESTANY!” Let's be real when was the last time we had a President that really gave a Damn about the people whom is supposed to have there “Better Interest” in mind, more likely how can I FRACK up this planet so I can & will get what I want, lets step on the people who put me here! (I did not vote for him). We really did not have much to choose from anyway, and we all know it is just going to be more of the same! Yes the United States of America is a better place on this planet but it is quickly becoming a place of the Rich walking over the poor & middle income people. The crooks of the world just look for places to roost until they get tired or they wear out there welcome, (read the above statement involving leaches) and the poor sole doesn't have a pot to piss in.
I really don't hold much optimism for the world right now, I really wish it would just go away, just put me out of my misery, stop the madness from perpetuating any further. If ET is out there, stop it here! Don't let it spread, it ruins lives, crushes dreams! Even if there is a “GOD” it needs to stop the madness! Too much cruelty in the world today to let it go on! AGAIN Stop the MADNESS! END IT NOW!
2/20/09
Well the brother, his girlfriend, & the child that was given to him is FINALLY GONE! They moved out last weekend, an with them the destruction that seems to follow them, & I quite literally mean DESTRUCTION! The couch & bed that they borrowed from his sister is ruined, it is littered with burn holes from their cigarettes! If you think that is bad they just took things that did not belong to them at all! To be honest, it is a small price to pay!
I am going to give this woman a chance but there is a possibility that her daughter is pregnant an I will not put up with that at all! I don't give a damn if she is getting money from her husband that is fighting for his country, if she is pregnant she will have to come off her meds & she is absolutely HIDEOUS! I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT!
I'm sorry but I am not going to put up with any more abuse from anybody no matter how sick they are! The Lady in question on the other hand is "OK" she like her relatives is not as crazy as they are, though she is getting overly possessive. When the accusations start flying again (just like my EX wife did) I will just put my butt in the road! I will not be accused of things I did not do, nor will I be told that I am hiding things from her (don't tell her about this blog, I need a place to vent), it is not fair to me to have to come home to that crap!
To be honest unless something happens soon in her favor, I will put an end to this, I should not have to support anybody else other than me, I don't have enough resources to do so. I need to be frugal with my money, the economy is getting worse & I am not sure if I will have a job especially after the end of year review that I got. this past year I have been so depressed that it has taken its toll on every thing in my life including my career. I just want to start over! Well anyway, I will up date later when I can & to that one fan that is out there, I.M. me, call me, you have the number!
07/21/09
It looks like the Leaches hare finally out of the house, stuck with all of there frackin bills, I swear I have never met a bigger bunch of losers in all my living days!
Let's recap the last 1 1/2 years! I know some people are just dieing to catch up, but as they have now found out, if they ever hurt me, don't let the door hit them on the way out!
Lets just say a couple of Christmas ago I was feeling really happy, I thought the stars had after many many years had finally started to look my way. I was delivering Christmas presents to someone I was really thinking that a Higher Power had put in my life. As I was putting the presents under the tree, (oh she was visiting her In-laws) the phone rang, the voice from the other end was someone I knew, hummm it sounds like he is fishing! I pushed it aside thinking that God would not have brought me here, and done so much for me, he certainly would not let me down now!
Then January comes along, always a bad month but hey I finally have someone that cares enough to bring me thru it! Yep they sure did! Her words were I want to have fun, that you said that I knew that you had just became single again, and I meant every word! But as everything goes my God Damn heart got in the frackin way!
Then here comes the "friends" the inebriated slut who deep throats a beer bottle, calls me up wanting favors, then finally leaving me a message on my cell phone stating "Corbett Corbett, You Suck, You don't know how to fuck" Where does she get off leaving that on my phone! I never even touched her! Then there was the hang up phone calls from the others, just as soon as I got it out of my pocket & pick it up, they would hang up! Then when I called back it goes straight to Voice Mail! Everybody no matter how nice & kind I am to them, I just get dumped on! There is more of this but you get the idea, because it is just more of the same!
Well I tried to move on but someone wanted me around but I quickly figured out that she just wanted me to buy her stuff. I left that alone, then in someone else stepped in, had all the right things to say in the beginning, wanted to move closer to Macon, but as soon as she got here, she & her family moved in, & we are not talking about just kids, her brother, a kid he went & got from North Carolina, then moved his girlfriend in that he met while under my roof! The SOB would have stayed if it wasn't that I quit talking to them & told them to GET OUT! The Ass Hole bought a truck & acted like it was a big deal! Sorry, If you have enough money to buy a truck you have enough money to get your own place! I just want her to have her own place & I would have mine!
Now comes the beginning of the summer, she & her daughter still live here. Her Daughter is married but still lives here under my roof, she is not that much of a drain on my pocket but she is so rude & ugly that it becomes more than I can take, she half ass cleans up, she cusses like a some damn sailor that has been out to sea for 10 years & has finally stepped foot on dry land! I kicked her out too, but this time it has been a year, all my savings is gone. I had been bouncing checks cause I was paying not only my bills but everybody else’s, Oh Brother dear would give me a little here & there ($100 a week) but the $500 to $800 light bill, the $50 to $75 water bill then I would have to help them with there phones, always a $100 or so, I think you get the idea.
I want a house that is mine, something that I can call my own but I have 2 auto loans, My Monte Carlo & a Truck! In my entire loan payments are totaling about $1000.00 a month, Oh I have moved out of the apartment, it has allowed me to drive my company truck home so I get to save on gas now, but small in comparison from the $605.00 a month to the $850.00 a month. I run the AC on the hot side (80deg) I still sleep with the window AC that is my only saving grace as far as comfort goes. My water bill has dropped dramatically, as well as for my other bills, BUT I still have her other bills, a Care Credit Card that she first took out in my name (with my consent) to pay for her Cat Vet bills. She wanted her teeth fixed so she said her insurance would pay for it, but when the bill came in it did not! So the balance was put on the card, now the balance is nearly $3000.00! JOY!!!!
Well she no longer lives here, she so far pays the Truck Payment but that is more than likely to stop just as soon as it breaks down or until she finds another toy! But still I am saddled with her bills, HELL just to keep her working I bought a new laptop for her to use until another mother board could be found to repair hers. The money keeps flowing, forever falling down an empty pit that thinks it is "OK" her whole damn crew to do this! I guess that is how she was raised, I met her Father holy smokes he is a piece of work, not even a decent redneck engineer, and lived in a trailer he pulled behind is crappie truck! I certainly did not let him come close to moving it close to my home to squat, an suck anymore resources out of me!
Now to me, someone said they hopped I was happy That they wanted me to have what I wanted, Well guess what, IT HAS NOT HAPPENED!
I am broke, I live from day to day worried about paying bills, think about it, I am paid very well. Go frackin figure! That they hope I had married & had settled down, that is NOT what I wanted! That hope I got every thing I desired, Fat Frackin Chance! Someone said that they were no longer in hell, got news for them, not really they are still there! It will find them again & when it does, they will wish for death because Damnation will be an improvement! That if there is a Higher Power that the Jack Ass is laughing from outside of this cage, pulling on our strings whooping it up, getting great delight from watching us squirm! If there is a Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, they are all standing around the top of this cage poking us with sticks!
Case & point, earlier this year I went to my doctor, asked why I have this popping feeling about where my belt fastens, I was told that I had 2 hernia’s, that I needed surgery. I told them, I had to wait that my job needed me & that I would soon have a lull in the work (Oh By the way My Job Sucks Out Loud!) an I would have the surgery then. Well that was 6/10/09, I am told that the pain & discomfort is normal, but COME ON, it has been over a month! When will it end! I did this alone, no one to help me out of the bed or the recliner, no one to cook for me! Even though the Doctor has released me for full duty at work I hurt daily, I come home & my testes are swollen twice there normal size (sometimes not so bad if I can stay off of my feet) and the scar tissue is hard as a rock &,,,, well you get the idea! If I loose them it is just as well I don't need them, they never are used anyway! So I say again, no I shout clenching my fist at the sky, Your a SADISTIC JACK ASS! THERE IS NO FRACKIN HIGHER POWER!
I no longer speak to my family, I would talk to Mom but it is kind of hard to call when my Dad is around (read between the lines)! Then there is my sister, she needs money $20k of it! They have a house, they have two kids, they have a college education, and they owe my parent's a lot of money! They need me to take out a Loan to pay off there Credit Card Debt! Sorry this mule won't pull anymore.
Again where is there a GOD! Don't speak to me of a GOD, the only thing god will get from here on is my one finger salute!
Is this what you wanted to hear? Is this good news? I hope you have enjoyed this light reading!
Hey! Update! This frackin trip is getting more jacked up, I was in Lowe’s today, I saw someone I really did not want to see, some one who OWES me money from more than a couple of years. I saw them get into a FRACKIN NEW CAR! What the HELL???? The Frackin State of Ga gives them enough money for them to get a new car but they can't pay me back the money they owe me????? Come on you bunch of users, where the hell do you get off kicking me to the frackin curb then get some thing & forget me??? This just confirms what I have been thinking! Liers & Cheats ALL OF YOU!
10/05/09
I really don't want to say this but it is coming up on 2 years that I have seen her, 2 years that I have spoke to her, but still I dream of her. Before you pervs think I am humping air, it is nothing like that, it is the dreams that make may heart hurt, the longing that some one you miss, the kind of dream that you feel good with only to wake up sad because it is not what they want. No one want to wake up with me, no one that wants to be with me for me & not for what I can be used for. Some how I must be that ugly that the only way I can get anybody is it have that money bag, or that so called "Pork Chop" around my neck.
My Alarm clock is going off, 5:45am may be early but getting woke up & not being able to go back to sleep is a major pain. Just this thought,,,, If there is a god, why not be merciful an let it go away, why torment me. Got to get ready for work!
I started something this morning that needs to be finished!
I was taught by a program that "Expectations" are "Future Resentments" that maybe true and if that is the case, what the hell is "Hopes & Dreams", why hope for something, dream that it would come true, only to have it after 40+ years to be disappointed again & again, to have the wrong people who use and abuse come at you day in & day out, time & time again! You meet these people who will not set down to eat until they say a "cookie cutter prayer" but they use the F Bomb in every other word of there everyday language!
I just wanted someone who wanted to be with me, not necessarily live with me, they would have there home, I would have mine! I guess that is to much to ask for! I am tired, I set here waiting for a sleep that would be peaceful, if it is to be perminate, I will wait for a long time or until my health fails, which will not be soon enough!
OH If anyone wants a "Chevrolet Avalanche", got one right here! Give me what I want for it, I will get the title from the bank & it will be yours!
Corbett
macontate@hotmail.com |
